It would come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I am not a fan of OBJECTIVES, never mind NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS.
That does not mean that there aren’t things I want to achieve and it does not mean that I don’t have a system for achieving it. (It’s just not a business plan.)
At the core of it lies this simple task:
1. FIND YOUR ENEMY.
Figure out what is truly holding you back. What are you afraid of? What is the real motive for doing or not doing something?
You already know what needs to be done. There is no point in writing it down on a New Year’s Resolution ‘list’.
Figure out what is the obstacle.
And not just the SYMPTOM – the real underlying cause for your actions/inactions:
Why don’t/are you really:
… hate going to the gym?
… not writing that book?
… not making money?
And it is usually not the first reason that comes to mind. You see, people are very good at deluding themselves. They justify easily and find excuses readily; and, importantly, these excuses make you feel better about yourself.
We don’t achieve things are because we believe our fake excuses:
Not writing your book?
A: I am too busy = fake excuse.
B: I am too lazy = real excuse.
Not going to the gym regularly?
A: It is full of pretentious assholes = fake excuse.
B: I am insecure = real excuse.
Once you have identified the real reason of your failures:
2. FACE IT.
This is simple to say but hard to do.
At AA, you have to stand up and publicly commit to being an alcoholic. (If the movies are a reliable guide.)
In life too, admitting the existence of this previously ‘masked’ fear is an important step in the recovery process.
Those people who rock up at the Australian Idol auditions articulate their dreams and objectives very well. They have never faced up to the fact that they cannot sing. NO amount of training and no amount of opportunity will ever change that.
It is hard to do this in a society where we have been conditioned to believe we are capable of anything.
The sky may well be the limit, but not many people can jump more than 2 meters high. Let’s face it.
And finally, that fear must be conquered:
3. FIX IT.
Once you have identified the real fear, and you have admitted that this particular fear is the real reason; then you can go about fixing it.
If you want to live a healthier life but you are to self-conscious to go to the gym and you have admitted this is the real reason why you don’t persevere, then there is no point in setting objectives about going to gym 3x per week.
You have to conquer your insecurities first – however one does that.
Whilst I encourage you to be realistic, you may be amazed by what is possible if you apply a dash of discipline, focus and perseverance to the real problem areas of your life.
This is the recipe for achieving success:
- Find it.
- Face it.
- Fix it.
You will note that all three steps have a VERB in them.
Unless you take action, nothing happens.
So I ask again, what is IT that you are really afraid of?
Here in the little universe of Ganador we also have to conquer our own fears. From the interactions we have on Twitter/ LinkedIn/Comments etc. I sometimes get the impression that people think that because you blog/ because you have your own business/ because you have an advanced degree (etc.) that you are ‘different’.
Rest assured that we (neither of us) are any different to you: We fear. We fail. We find false justification for our failures. Just like everybody else.
But I am not HOPING that 2012 will be a better year – I am MAKING it so.
Are you with me?
Dennis & Moonyeen
PS: Waiting, whining and worrying are also verbs – but they engage reverse gear. I assume you want to go forward…